oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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