This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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