Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My ass is underappreciated
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
