booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
