Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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