Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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