I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
