Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
time to smoke my breakfast
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
