An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
