glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
