I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
