I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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