We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Are my feet made of real feet?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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