i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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