smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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