You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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