ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
