i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I still have a little drunk in my system
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
