And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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