just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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