you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
