you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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