We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
