It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
