I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
