she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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