She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He better not be in your backpack
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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