dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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