He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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