Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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