he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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