I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
