Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
