I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
