I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
