Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
