i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
