I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I supernannyed him into submission
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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