Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
