Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
