I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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