my being single is dangerous.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize