The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my shit smells like andre
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
