the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
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we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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