Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
