google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the raccoons are back...
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