the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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