i barfeds in our rink
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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