Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i drank out of a bidet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize