Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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