i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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