It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
