Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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