I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I would ride that face into the sunset
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
