you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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