Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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