So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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