i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
